I have known several young women who go on and on about how incredible and amazing various young men are. It usually leaves me thinking to myself "Really? You see that in him? I mean he's a great guy and all but not that great. I mean seriously, I've talked to this guy and he's told me about his faults that he's trying to correct and here you go off telling me that those faults are not only non-existent but that those are actually his strongest points!"
"Womenfolks have powerful imaginations when it comes to a man, an' she can read things into him he never knew was there, and like as not, they ain't!"
~Louis L'Amour Ride the River
Personally I think that the worst of these cases is where the girl is telling you to your face how incredible and amazing you are and how you are one of the greatest young men they've ever known while inside you suddenly begin analyzing your faults and seeing all your weakness and then ask yourself "Where did you find that? I must be hiding some incredible attributes from myself where I'm the only one who can't see them." You then start feeling like a jerk for not telling her that she's completely mistaken but for some reason you have a feeling that if you did tell her that then you would only be an even bigger jerk.
Girls, I don't know how you see what you see in men but my only logical theory is that you have each invented this perfect model of a man in your heads and when you find a man particularly attractive then you automatically convince yourselves that he is your Knight in Shining Armor and so he therefore possesses every attribute of that perfect man.
Well, this is not the case. It likely never will be the case.
so...
A bit of advice: Learn to see men as they really are. The male species is not all that different from the female species in that we too have many faults and rights. Many strengths and weaknesses.
The greatest point of view to see someone from is not Jane Austen's, but God's. And the second best point of view is their own.
-CarsonKG
Hmmm. I agree with your final sentences, but I'm not so convinced that anyone would be happiest relying solely on how a person sees themselves. No, you're not perfect, and neither am I - but if you ever started demeaning yourself when I tried to hand you an honest-to-goodness compliment, I would not be pleased. It's all right to doubt oneself. It's also all right to believe the best in people.
ReplyDeleteThis is Quiana's mother speaking. Women have the unique gift of seeing more in men than they see in themselves. While this can sometimes lead to delusions, often it gives men a greater vision for themselves and inspires them be the Knight she hopes he is. So, how do you tactfully respond to such gushing praise? Perhaps, "Someday I hope to be worthy of such praise, mylady." Or "If you keep this up, it's sure to ruin my character." or "Such praise is more a testament of your virtue than mine" or some such cheesy sentiment to lighten to atmosphere. All I can say is, being adored must not be as easy at is looks.
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ReplyDeleteI do agree that those positive insights from a woman are good and I am not trying to say that those words of praise are bad. What I am trying to say is that it hurts to see girls who fill their minds with mirages. Things that seem too good to be true and all too often, they are. And then get hurt because they refused to see the truth.
DeleteNonetheless, I must agree that it does help the man to want to be a better person. :)
Thanks for commenting you personal thought and opinions! It's started me thinking more about it.