"Who can find a virtuous woman?"
At the end of her post she added a "Note to the Men" in which she told us that it means the world to a girl to have a man tell her she's beautiful. But does it?
If it truly means the world to her, why does she (I use "she" to represent the majority of young women I associate with.) so often respond with *insert awkward smile* "Umm, thanks?" *Insert slight raise off the eyebrow and a look as if I'm an alien freak* as she turns away?
If it really means the world, then show it.
Why is it that you can get so excited if a guy were to offer you a chocolate bar or something small like that. (Okay, I guess for most girls, chocolate is a big deal.)
But when you're given a sincere compliment you either brush it off like nothing.
Now I'll admit, there are times when a young women does respond graciously and gratefully when told that she is beautiful, but I also must admit that that response usually only comes when the compliment comes in the form of a handwritten letter, at an event where it's obviously expected of every young man, a dance, a date, or when two people are "singled out."
However, it does remain true that when just given as a sincere compliment at a time that's unexpected (which is when young women say that they need it most) they cast it off like nothing.
I'm not complaining and I'm not disrespecting or mocking women at all.
I guess I'm just the one with the curious mind.
-CarsonKG
Hey Carson, this is pretty amazing. Thanks for reading my post and actually thinking about it. I speak for most girls (and correct me if I'm wrong, ladies) But the reason we are so hesitant to accept a sincere unexpected compliment is because- well, just that- we weren't expecting it. There is no real response to 'your beautiful'. Saying 'thank you' and standing there awkwardly twiddling your thumbs while the guy stands there watching us do said twiddling of thumbs... doesn't really work well.
ReplyDeleteI am so thankful for your sincere thoughts and ideas, and your longing to make us girls feel beautiful.
maybe when boys tell us we are beautiful we can jump up (if you are short like me;))and give them a big hug. that will make them happy, and that's a good way for us to say thank you, right?:)
ReplyDeleteIn response to Alyssa:
ReplyDeleteOne way that you respond would be to say "Really? Thank you. That means a lot." Then you could give a quick sweet and sincere smile. After that, it all depends on who the guy is for how you would respond. Usually he ought to respond and find a transition out of the conversation before it becomes awkward or if he doesn't you then turn away and go about your business. At least you'll have shown the guy that you appreciate his taking the nerve to offer a kind compliment.
I think that the main problem is that most girls today aren't taught how to accept compliments. They are also taught not to expect them. If they do, by some chance, receive a compliment, the highest it is going to be is "I really think you're hot". Besides that, a compliment like "I think you're beautiful" generally implies romantic interest. It's pretty sad.
ReplyDeleteIn today's culture, if you accept a compliment, then that implies that you are full of yourself. One does not simply admit that she is beautiful. She must think that she is ugly, or breaking out, or fat, or something along those lines. She must put herself down to be accepted.
It really is sad. :(
So, if a girl ever does give you the reaction you just described, it's probably her odd, funny, poisonous-culture-influenced way of being sincerely grateful. And like Lyssa said, she probably wasn't expecting it. I've only been called beautiful twice,(And by this I mean someone personally talking to me, not singing about it, though that was amazing) and one of those times it was provoked. Both times it was very much appreciated, though I think I was so surprised I didn't exactly give the proper reaction. My mind literally froze and I started tripping over my words and I probably said something stupid. XD
Anyway, blurb is over.